When Numbers Become Your Worth

Look around you.  It seems that no matter where you look, life has the potential to be ruled by numbers.  Sometimes these numbers can be seen in a positive way, pushing us to be the best we can; while others, simply can take over one’s life and ruin it.  Life can be a constant struggle of keeping the numbers in check and not letting them define your worth.

Numbers when they become your worthI am at a stage in my life where I am noticing how much numbers can dictate my happiness if I allow it; whether it be in my own life or the lives around me.  I am amazed at how much a single number can be the predictor of one’s worth.  Here are a few areas where numbers have reared their head lately in my life.

Weight

The scale…..the biggest mental torture device in my home.  I have talked about this in the past, yet it is still something that I struggle with.  Coming out of the winter and having to shed layers of clothes is not always the best thing for my self-esteem.  Yes I know that a number should not dictate my self worth, but emotionally it is so hard to just accept myself as I am.  What I am embracing is the notion that even though I may be hard on myself, those in my life will not love me or respect me less for what I weigh or how I look.

Grades

My oldest daughter is heading to college in the fall.  She exemplifies the Type A personality to a T.  She is self-motivated, smart, determined, and has a strong urge to succeed.  Wonderful qualities, yes. We have watched her push herself throughout school to earn a GPA that is truly remarkable, while trying to remind her that grades are not everything.  She has taken multiple AP exams and received the highest score on each one.  She has skipped a year of French 2, gone immediately to French 3 and aced the exam.  She is taking an Intro to Ancient Greek class at Hamilton College because she has a love of languages.  I don’t tell you this to brag; I tell you this because when she did not get into her top college choices she was devastated.  In her mind, her GPA was not worthy enough.  Her SAT scores were not worthy enough.  Never mind the fact that the colleges she applied to were super competitive and accepted 6% of the applicants that applied.  She was letting numbers set her worth.  All of a sudden all of her hard work and determination were not good enough.  In her eyes she had failed.  Every success we had praised her for over the years was now falling short and no longer mattered in her eyes.  Getting her to realign her thinking has been tough but I think she is coming around.

Money

Money is definitely on our minds as we are staring down a college tuition.  We are not ones for elaborate vacations, new cars every few years, or buying things simply because we want them.  It’s just not possible.  As we were discussing tuition the other night and realizing how much college is (gulp), my daughter was feeling bad for the strain that it will put on our wallets.  It is easy to get down on oneself when looking at your bank account and thinking of how long you will be paying college tuitions for, but as I told her, I don’t want much out of life.  If my children are happy, we have a roof over our heads, and full stomachs, life is pretty darn good.  I have seen, as I am sure you have, people with fuller bank accounts that have problems in their life that no amount of money can solve.  They may have financial freedom but lack happiness.

Followers

Let’s face it; as bloggers numbers do hold some allure to us.  We can not honestly say that we don’t care about them.  If that were the case, I firmly believe we would all be writing in our journals and diaries, and not hitting publish on posts for the world to see.  We want to know that we can reach people, that people can relate to us.  We want to have interactions with people that we may never get the chance to meet real life.  That’s the beauty of blogging.  However, there are some blogger that take the numbers game a bit farther. They are constantly checking their stats, they are in each and every giveaway out there.  It is ok to want to increase your followers but be sure that in the pursuit of more numbers you are not compromising the ones you already have.  Stay true to yourself and your readers, be authentic and genuine and always remember what made you start blogging in the first place.

Age

I’m getting old.  Heck…we all are.  As my daughters celebrate their birthdays (they are all in April or May) I realize how old I am getting.  I can’t wrap my head around the fact that they will be 12, 15, and 18.   I know I am not knocking on the door of nursing homes yet but it’s amazing to look back and think that when my parents were in their 40’s I thought they were old.  Now that I am there I still feel so young and wonder how that can be.  I keep telling myself that age is just a number and that the years in your life don’t matter it’s the life in your years that truly matter.  I know that, I do.  But my gosh, if time could just slow down a bit I would be happier.

Do you find areas of your life where numbers have the potential to determine your self worth? How have you coped with that?

When Numbers become your worth

I’m linking up with Emily from Ember Grey for Grateful Heart Monday.  Today I am grateful for the people in my life that keep me grounded.  It is far too easy to fall prey to the numbers in life and miss out on the people and experiences.  Although numbers can be good and push us to be our best, they should never be allowed to dictate our worth.  As is the case with most things in life, moderation is key.  Balance is everything.  Surrounding yourself with people that will help you see that you are far more than a number is one of the greatest keys to happiness.

 

Blogger Love Vol. 37

Blogger Love www.lovethehereandnow.com

Happy Friday!  Another week has come and gone and the weekend is here.  I’m thrilled to have the chance to sit back and take a deep breath and slowly exhale.  Every Friday I link up with Meagan from All the Joys to share the posts that I loved this week in her Blogger Love link up.  If you have  moment this weekend, take the time to visit these bloggers.

5 Things Series by Ember Grey (links to previous posts can be found at the bottom of the post).   This series focused on an article written by the musician Dan Lewis.  Emily takes the 5 things he has learned about songwriting and beautifully applies it to blogging.  It’s a great series and I think Emily did a wonderful job with it.

Beauty A to Z: O is for Own Your Style by Bourbon, Lipstick, and Stilettos.  I am the farthest thing from a beauty and fashion blogger and have come to rely on Lindsay for her tips, tutorials, and suggestions.  This post felt like it was aimed at me….I am not at all trendy, nor do I even pretend to know what the current trends are.  Lindsay encourages her readers to just own their own style, whether it is makeup and beautiful clothes or even sweats. Hearing someone say this was liberating and encouraging.

Tribe by The So-Called Homemaker. I have always said that the blogging community is wonderful.  What truly makes it amazing though is one’s blogging tribe.  Do you have one?  I am fortunate enough to have found a wonderful group and it has made all the difference in my blogging experience.

You are Not Less of a Woman by Becoming Adorable.  Not even going to say a word about this post.  Just go read it and feel better about yourself and stop the comparison game.  Love this post by Becca!

I’m Not Lucky by Dancing’ with a Dolly.  Jenny, a blogger and shop owner (Hole in Her Stockings Designs) had some amazing news recently.  People have claimed that she is lucky (and like her, I’m sure it was meant in a positive way) however, I agree with her.  Luck may have played a teeny tiny role but behind every successful woman, shop, and business is hard work.  Next time you congratulate someone on their success take a moment and acknowledge their hard work and effort.  A great reminder for all of us!

There you have it….my recommended reading for you this weekend.  What posts inspired you this week?

The Gift of Time & Je Me Souviens

Two days ago my youngest turned 12.    When asked for birthday gift ideas, she was hard-pressed to come up with an answer.  Until one day she approached me and said “I know exactly what I want.”gift of time

With a little smile on her face, she asked if she could skip school and if I would take the day off from work. She wanted us to spend the day together.    As the mom of a daughter heading off to college in the fall I am all too aware of how fast time passes.  I’m also smart enough to realize that there may come a time when the pleasure of my company won’t be at the forefront of my daughters’ minds.

She specifically wanted to go to an indoor trampoline park.  We could have gone on the weekend but let’s face it….skipping school held more allure to a 12 year old.

What did the gift of time mean?

It meant being present, and I mean present.  It meant turning off the computer, putting the phone away, and leaving the online world for the one that was smack dab in front of me.

It meant living in the moment.

It meant letting go of the niggling thought of the work piling up and realizing that it will be there tomorrow but this moment won’t be.

It meant acting like a child again.

It meant providing memories that will last for a long time.

It meant showing my daughter that her company is valued.

It meant savoring the time together.

It meant smiling from ear to ear.

It meant de-stressing.

It meant the world to me.

The next time you need a gift for someone, consider the gift of time.

Je Me Souviens

Today I’d like to introduce you to Angie, the blogger behind My So-Called Chaos. You may know her as a blogger but did you also know that she is the owner of the shop Je Me Souviens? Angie makes and sells handmade candles; and not just any candles. She makes them in reclaimed tea cups, mugs and other assorted kitchenware. So not only are the candles aromatic, they are also beautiful to display. 

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Create art, go hiking/camping, take photos, learn French, read, and so much more.

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In this case, what are your favorite 3 products?

Lemon Cookie Candle in a Vintage Sugar Dish

Nag Champa Candle in Reclaimed Boho Carafe

Cinnamon Buns Scented Candle in Reclaimed Teapot

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Je Me Souviens is actually “I remember” in French, and since I love French, and the kitchenware is all pre-owned (but cleaned up) I wanted something that reminded us of the memories those little cups and teapots once had.

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How big the community is, and how great a friendship can be even when you’ve never met in person.

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Collecting books, binge-watching a TV series on Netflix, Coffee, Wine, Buying Art or other decorations for my apartment… There’s too many. lol

You can find Angie’s shop here (hurry up!  She’s having a moving sale!!).  You can also find Angie on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, and Instagram.